We Are “1 in 8”

First off, let me welcome you to the very first post of my blog, “Waiting in the Valley”! I’m so thrilled you’re here! I encourage you to head over to the “Welcome” section to learn more about how and why this blog came to be. Again, I’m so happy you are here!

Moving along, did you know:

• When hippos are upset, their sweat turns red
• A flock of crows is known as a murder
• Cherophobia is the fear of fun
• 1 out of every 8 couples have to deal with infertility in some shape, form, or fashion

Here’s another one for you . . .

Kenn and I are part of that 1 in 8 group…

Depending on who is reading this, you might need a moment to let that sink in…

Yes, you read that correctly…

I guess you could say we started this journey about a year ago. We had been actively using birth control methods and decided in February 2017 that we would just stop trying to prevent pregnancy. We said we would just continue about our lives and if it happened, it happened. Fast forward to June 2017, it still had not happened and I was not having any visits from Aunt Flow. Which let me say, was nice! But I knew it wasn’t normal, especially with us trying to conceive. So, we scheduled a visit with my gyno for July 10th, 2017. Such a specific date, right?

I remember the date so well because it was the day our lives changed forever… The day we started the initial descent into our own valley.

I knew it wasn’t going to be good, when we were taken from a typical exam room and into the doctor’s actual office.

Dr. F diagnosed me with polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS), on top of endometriosis (which he had diagnosed me with at 16). While we managed to hold back tears as he told us what our next steps would be, we still had hope that everything would be okay. Dr. F started me on the first three-month cycle of Clomid & Progesterone. The goal being that we would become pregnant within those three months, and if not, he would refer us to a reproductive endocrinologist (RE).

For those of you who do not know what that entails, here’s the run down:

• Track your basal body temperature everyday
• Cycle days 3-7, you take Clomid
• You start doing ovulation tests on cycle day 9 or 10 and start doing “the deed” at least every other day, until you get a positive.
• Then take progesterone until Aunt Flow comes, and if she doesn’t show up, take a pregnancy test.
• Repeat steps above next cycle, if test is negative.

Cycle one went effortlessly smooth – but unsuccessful (big fat negative on the pregnancy test). Cycle two was not quite as smooth – my body never ovulated, so I began Progesterone to induce Aunt Flow. By this point, Kenn and I had sought out an RE (Dr. L) who we both felt was right and made an appointment to undergo more testing.

Cue cycle three – did not ovulate again.

Dr. L was great from the start! He made us feel at home and really wanted to get to know us on a personal level. He had a genuine desire to want to help us achieve our dream of having children and was willing to do it at our pace and comfort level. So, we started small.

He ordered a whole slew of blood tests and ultrasounds for me, and a semen analysis for Kenn. We did the first ultrasound before leaving his office, and he visually confirmed the PCOS diagnosis. I definitely had the “string of pearls”. And the blood-work proved it even more later.

He sent us home with Femara (similar cycle to Clomid), with instructions to call when Aunt Flow came to schedule my hysterosalpingogram (HSG).

While we waited through the next few weeks for the HSG, Kenn completed his first semen analysis. The results were a little startling to us, as there were no sperm found in the sample. So, Dr. L referred Kenn to a local urologist (Dr. W) which he partners with for male-factory infertility, but we could not get an initial appointment until late October. Believe me, we were patiently waiting on the edge of our seats…

While we waited for Kenn’s appointment, I had the HSG procedure done. I will admit that it was quite uncomfortable. Well, really, it felt like pouring rubbing alcohol in an open wound . . .  HAHAHA. But regardless, the results were good. The doctor described it as “beautiful”! If only, my cycle and hormones would cooperate!

At Kenn’s first appointment with Dr. W we asked a lot of questions and got a lot of answers. Dr. W wanted to perform some bloodwork, an ultrasound and another semen analysis. He expressed the same interest as Dr. L, and he was very informative about all of the possible causes of Kenn’s zero count. Most importantly, he was not hesitant to walk us through the worse case scenarios. And so, we did some more waiting…

Around Thanksgiving 2017, the results finally came back, and Kenn was diagnosed with Klinefelter Syndrome. Klinefelter Syndrome (KS) is a rare genetic condition which cannot be cured or “fixed”. There are many symptoms for KS – some of which Kenn does and does not have. It does have a major impact on testosterone production, and most guys who have this condition likely do not make any sperm.

Needless to say, we were devasted. We were confused. We were angry. We were lost.

Dr. W proceeded to tell us that we had one more option to completely rule out any chance of a biological child for both of us: microscopic testicular sperm extraction, or Micro – TESE. After which, Kenn would need to start a continuous system of testosterone replacement, due to his quickly declining levels. Dr. W said there was a 50% chance of finding something we could then use for IVF. He sent us home and told us to weigh our options, talk about it, and get back in touch with him once we had decided which direction to go — surgery or shots.

And so, we did, for the last four months. We researched, discussed, sought out advice, and prayed. In December, we were told that Kenn’s insurance would cover the surgery just like any other surgery, and in February 2018 he had decided to move forward with the surgery.

He, and I, wanted, needed, the closure. We did not want to live the rest of our lives wondering “What if?”.

But God had other plans for us because the surgery is no longer covered under his insurance this year, and it would cost us $30,000 out of pocket.

And so, we have decided to move on from this. Kenn does not need to postpone the testosterone replacement any longer. He struggles everyday with the effects of Klinefelter Syndrome, and he deserves to feel better, healthy, and happy!

Doing so means we will never have a child that is half me and half Kenn. And we are dealing with that in our own ways – the emotions ebb and flow. We are not sure how, or if, the path to parenthood will proceed. We are open to donor insemination with IUI, adoption, and even having no children at all. We trust that if God intends for us to be parents, then He will make it happen in His own time, on His own terms.

All we do know for sure right now, is that we are going to adjust our sails and just ride the waves for a bit.